


Learning to Love Yourself.

by BunnyJess



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020), DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Capes, Anal Sex, Angst, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Explicit Sex, F/M, Fluff, Gifts, M/M, Mentions of psychosis, Multi, Oral Sex, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Neglect, Roman and Victor as soft to each other and their Jay, Scars, Self Destructive Behaviour, Smut, Soft sex, They are not soft to anyone else, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Very fluffy, War Veteran, m/m/f, mentions of self harm, past violence attack, purely because of Victor and Roman's relationship in BoP, scars caused by self harm, soft, war veteran Victor Zsasz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyJess/pseuds/BunnyJess
Summary: Jay knew she had scars. Scars that told the story of her life better than she ever could. Ugly malformed things from burns and weapons that didn’t get the chance to heal right. All littered across her skin like some fucked up picture book.It was too hard to love yourself when everyone leaves after seeing scars like hers. Then in walk two people as equally scarred as she is and maybe, just maybe, they'll understand.
Relationships: Roman Sionis/Jason Todd/Victor Zsasz, Roman Sionis/Victor Zsasz
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	Learning to Love Yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from BunnyAngel on Discord. I hope you like it Babes <3

Life had been pretty shitty for Jay Todd. She’d been beaten and abused for her early childhood, finally escaping onto the streets where she felt safer. There she’d met a man she thought would be her family. Bruce promised her the world and only delivered hell. Neglect and emotional abuse rampant from a man touting himself as her father to the press. Jay was just thankful she didn’t have to sleep with him, small mercies and all that.

When she’d broken out on her own, fleeing to live in a small flat in Gotham while attending Gotham U, she’d finally felt free of her past. Except for one small thing. A small thing that didn’t appear until her first time being bare around another.

Jay knew she had scars. Scars that told the story of her life better than she ever could. Ugly malformed things from burns and weapons that didn’t get the chance to heal right. All littered across her skin like some fucked up picture book.

Multiple people came and went from her life. Each appearing to be caring and kind…until she took her top off. They could see the words carved into her chest by some madman who’d attacked her on the streets. The cigarette burns. The puckered, distorted lines from glass smashed over her. By the next morning they’d be gone, never contacting her again.

She thought she’d never feel comfortable in her own skin, never want another to see all of her. That is until her flatmate, and one of the only people to never flee at the sight of her skin, Roy had dragged her out clubbing with him and his girlfriend Kori. Said girlfriend convinced her to wear a dress, Jay falling on one that was flowy to account for the heat of a club but covered her from neck to knees with long sleeves, and do her face and hair.

The trio had been in the club for fifteen minutes when Roy and Kori disappeared into the throng of people grinding on the dance floor. Their own moves looking the filthiest out of everyone. Jay had rolled her eyes, knowing it would happen eventually, and went to the bar. She kept herself small, not drawing attention to herself, hoping she could stay until Roy suggested a new place and she could slink off home.

Two men were sat near the bar loudly discussing Gotham’s latest result in football. She ignored them, not noticing the way both had looked her up and down and shared a look. Reaching the bar all she wanted to do was slump onto it but knew men would take that as even more of an invitation to grope her, something she wasn’t in the mood for that night.

When she went to pay the bartender waved her off. Confused Jay asked why, the employee just pointing behind her and telling her the boss had said she wasn’t to pay. She turned around and saw those same two men looking at her.

One was classically handsome. Brown hair, soft looking lips, a build that wasn’t too extreme as some men had a tendency to do ~~her adoptive father was one such man~~ , best of all was how the cut of his tailored suit made him look more powerful. Hands covered in leather gloves as if he was a mobster from some movie.

To his right sat the second man. Where the first was classically handsome, the second was more eccentric in his appeal. Short platinum blonde hair, brown beard, and a smile that looked like it would be scary to see in a darkened alley or on the wrong end of a blade. Jay could also see the glint of white lines around his face and neck, his obnoxious silk shirt loose enough to have the collar flopping open. Despite looking like a comic book villain there was something about him that intrigued her.

Jay picked her drink up, thanked the bartender, and wandered over to the pair. “Thanks for the drink,” she held out her hand to shake theirs, “I’m Jay. I’m afraid I don’t know your names.” She hated how strong her Gotham accent was when she felt anxious. Living in Bristol with Bruce for five years had almost gotten rid of it…almost.

“Pleasure, I’m Roman and this is Victor.” The man in the suit answered. His handshake was firm. However, where she expected him to wave her off once he’d finished, he instead pressed his lips to the back of her hand. “Lovely to meet you. Care to join us?”

She nibbled at the inside of her lip, debating her options. She could have left, could wave them off and pretend it hadn’t happened. Roy would have understood her leaving so early in the night. Instead she looked the men over again and thought _fuck it_ , sliding into the booth beside Roman.

There is a saying ‘the rest is history’ except that doesn’t apply to Jay. She knew her history. How many people she’d started to fall for only to have them leave after they saw her scars. So, when both men had asked her if she’d be up for a date with them she’d taken her time deciding. Three days later agreeing and ending up in a hole-in-the-wall diner that made Roman look out of place but her and Victor look at home.

For months they were careful. They wined and dined her, rushed over supplies like ice cream and flowers when she had to cancel plans as her period was unpredictable. They even took physical intimacy at her pace.

Being with two people already in a committed relationship took weight off her that she didn’t realise she’d been being crushed under with her previous relationships. There was no rush to get physically intimate beyond what _she_ was comfortable with. Both men allowing her to take all the time she needed.

The first time she saw more than the scars on Victor’s face and neck was through Roman. They were snuggled up on the sofa, her hot water bottle wedges against her lower abdomen, while Victor whipped up chilli dogs.

She’d been tucked under Roman’s arm. Just enjoying the closeness and touch. His hand stroked through her hair before he cursed quietly and tilted her chin up with one finger, pressing a kiss to her lips as she gazed at him with nothing but concern.

“I need to take my gloves off, but that will make you only the second person to ever see my hands since I started wearing them. I, I know you don’t seem appalled by Vic’s scars. It’s just,” He didn’t sound like the strong, fierce business man Jay knew he was. He sounded scared, almost as if he was afraid she’d run after seeing them.

Instead of letting him continue, or replying verbally, Jay reached for his hand and gently pulled the buttery soft black leather from his hand. His hands were disfigured more than the gloves let on. She’d seen these types of injuries before, the knuckles of a man who’d had his hands broken repeatedly with something extremely heavy. White marks covering the raised skin showing how often they’d split open.

Jay didn’t react to the state of his hand, nor did she react to the left one when she pulled the glove off that too. She settled back into Roman’s side and took the hand not stroking through her hair in her’s. Her grip sure, showing him more than words ever could.

You see, Jay could be forgiving and understanding of people’s scars. She could see the beauty in the person’s resilience and ability to move forwards. She just couldn’t see that with herself. For her all her scars showed was a defenceless, ugly girl.

That small incident made Jay start thinking about being more intimate with her partners. If Roman’s hands were that scarred then there was the chance his body held some similar to her. Victor’s skin showed his battle through shrapnel injuries on the front line and his PTSD, through his own brain constantly trying to convince him that twisted metal still burrowed under his skin and the only solution was to cut it out. He’d contacted her on a bad day, struggling to breathe and telling her about the pain lancing through the original injury sites. She’d sat and listened to him, had spoken to him once he was ready. Even going so far as to go to his and climb through his open bathroom window after it became apparent he couldn’t open the front door. All so she could hold him through the attack.

A month after the glove incident Jay asks Roman if they can have date night at his. He can tell she’s nervous. Her fidgeting clear over the three-way video call. It made him irrationally happy to see her showing her emotions as he remembered how she’d tried to hide her anxiety the first few times they’d gone out.

Dressed in the same dress from the first time they met, Jay tried not to fiddle with the hem of the sleeve as she followed Victor through the loft. Roman having stepped out to call in their take-out order. She struggled to find a comfortable position on the sofa as the full weight of what she planned to do hit her.

Roman swanned back in, all power and grace even in dark jeans and a shirt. His eyes widened as he saw Jay’s outfit. The dress something she’d not worn around them since.

“You’re looking lovely this evening Little Bird.” He rumbled, his upper class accent giving way to a growl.

Jay flushed at his words, at the look of burning in his eyes, at the way he couldn’t keep his gaze from trailing along her body sending fire in its wake. She waited until both men had settled into the sofa either side of her before moving again. Slipping a leg over Roman’s lap so she could straddle him.

Her hands found his shoulders as she looked him in the eye. “I…I want to…” all her nerves hit her at once making the confident woman crumple.

Victor moves closer to the pair and stroked her cheek. “What do you want Pretty Bird?” His voice a breath across her ear.

She shivered and stood abruptly. “It doesn’t…don’t… _fuck_ ,” she ran for the bathroom and locked herself in. Trying to calm herself and tell herself that tonight, what they’d discover tonight, wouldn’t end anything.

What Jay didn’t know was the look Roman and Victor shared as she fled. Murder and retribution crackling between them. They knew the signs of abuse, knew how someone acted when they were convinced their past would ruin their present.

Roman’s lip raised in a snarl, leather creaking as he curled his hands into fists. “Whoever hurt her deserves to die.” Voice cold and dripping with promise.

“Fuck that! They deserve to hurt ten times as much as she did.” Victor replied. Reaching out to uncurl Roman’s fists and hold his hands tightly in his. “You need to calm down Rome, it might be enough to scare her.”

The other man took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and relaxing back into the sofa. Anger still thriving within him. “You’re right…this once.” He tried to smile but Victor could see how fragile it was as he fought to contain his rage.

“Ha!” Victor crowed. Suddenly his face fell, his dawning realisation clear as a lightbulb above his head. “I don’t care who Wayne thinks he is, if he’s done any of this I’ll get the guys to help me take him out.”

Just as Jay didn’t know what happened while she fled, Victor didn’t notice she’d returned. “It wasn’t Bruce, he…it was only ever ignoring me and…never feeling loved or wanted with him. I, I’m covered in scars.” Jay went on to reveal all. What Willis used to do, Catherine’s dealers, even the insane entertainer dressed like a clown who’d attacked her and left her for dead in an alley. All of it came out, the release lifting her up and making her feel free.

It was Roman who moved first, standing in front of her. Taking off his gloves to stroke her cheek and hold the back of her neck. Pulling her into him so she could rest against his chest.

Victor came up behind her, pressing along her back and holding her hips. His lips trailing along Jay’s neck. Bolts of lightening shooting down her spine.

They made it to Roman’s bedroom, his king-sized bed with silk sheets looking far less daunting now she was between the two of them. Their touch gentle, never too much or not enough. A fuzziness seeming to settle around her harshest edges.

The zipper of the dress is pulled down, chiffon sliding down her body and pooling around her feet. She folds her arms across her chest, trying to hide the writing scarred there.

Her partners don’t force her hands away from her body. Instead they undress. Each article to come off showing off more and more scars. Evidence of the abuse Roman suffered at the hands of his parents. None deformed from infection but that doesn’t mean they loved him more than her parents loved her; they just had the money to pay off the medical staff, keeping them quiet.

There are far more across Victor’s torso that she’s expecting. His body looking like a fucked up tally system. A mark for every time he picked up a blade, mixing in with the wounds from the IED. For every time his brain told him the doctors in Bastian and home had failed. That he had to slice skin to keep sane, to pull out the metal that remained.

It’s Victor who reaches out, his hand oddly delicate as they wrap her wrist. His hands one of the least scarred parts of him. He pressed her hand to his chest and moves it down. Her fingers tracing over every scar they find.

Repeating what the other man did Roman pulls Jay’s hand to his own chest. The least scarred of the two but just as traumatised. His own grasping one of her hips, pulling her with him as he backs up to the bed.

Curling up together, hands brushing along scarred skin, holding each other close. They spend the night doing little else. Whispered conversations and the warmth of both men dragging Jay into a rare restful sleep.

Over the coming weeks Roman and Victor do for Jay what they’d done for each other. They slowly start to build up her confidence in her scars. They press kisses and graze touches to her marked skin as much as the unmarked patches. Never going further than just exploration of each other’s body. Never letting it go too far.

They are determined to show Jay that they aren’t leaving and that they aren’t there just because of sex.

The night they go further is a night when college work has been dragging Jay down and she’s spent the better half of two weeks sleeping at Roman’s due to the volume Roy and Kori can reach. She storms in from class absolutely fuming, clear to see for both men that deeper than that it’s hurt.

“Some Bristol brat called me ugly because of the cigarette burns down my arms. I just…Ugh!” She shouts as she storms from the front door to the fridge, door banging open as she grabs a beer and downs half of it before coming back to the living room.

She’s about to flop onto the sofa when Victor scoops her into his arms. A squeak of indignation dissolving into giggles as he carries her back to their bedroom; and it has very much become that after the past two weeks, to the point Roman doesn’t want things to change. He lays her down and slips into the en-suite to grab the relaxing mix of massage oil.

Roman crawls up her body. Pushing her skirt up so he can kiss the bare skin that sits above the lace of her stockings. Unclasping the suspenders belt while he’s there. Next he moved to push up her short sleeved tee, the heat of spring in Gotham and her two men giving her the confidence to wear the outfit instead of drowning under sweats and a hoody.

He grins up at her when he realises she’s wearing the matching bra to the set he’d gotten her. Chuckling when she rolls her eyes and lifts her head enough to try and drink the rest of her beer, the bottle being skilfully intercepted by Victor.

Undressing is a slow process. Items falling away as they explore each other’s bodies. No frantic rush when Roman and Jay have the day off.

Once they’re all undressed, both men squirt some of the oil into their hands. Warming it up before slowly starting to massage her legs from the calves up. Only moving on once they’re sure the knots are gone.

Jay tenses when it comes to massaging her chest and shoulders, the scarring worst there thanks to the alley attack when she was fifteen. They don’t let it deter them. Pressing kisses to her lips, neck and breasts as they soothe away her stress.

She grips the back of Victor’s neck when he goes to give her another chaste kiss, pulling him in for something deeper. A lust unlike any she’s felt before burning under her skin. He gives to her wordless demand, nipping on her lower lip and tangling their tongues together. Pressing her back into the bed.

With their girl distracted Roman moves back down her body and pushes her thighs apart. Smirking as he sees how red and swollen she already is, how wet she is from simple touches…loving touches. He leans in and licks the full length of her folds, ending in a swirl around her clit.

He might have been exclusive with Victor for three years, but eating a woman out isn’t a skill he’ll ever forget. Diving back in like a starving man. Tongue spearing into her as he uses his thumb to rub her clit.

Pulling back to breathe and slipping her fingers between her folds, holding her open to watch how wet she is. Lapping from her hole to her clit. Sucking on the bud and scraping his teeth over it.

When Jay let’s out a load moan Roman looks up. Surprised she’d been able to make such a noise with how consuming kissing Victor could be. He’s met by one grinning face and one exposed neck, Jay’s head tipped back into the pillow as a blush begins to travel down her chest.

“Back to it Rome, don’t keep our Pretty Bird waiting.” Victor says. He reaches forward, tangling a hand in Roman’s brown hair and pressing him back to Jay. Rubbing his face over her wet heat and watching the way his girl moans for it.

Roman presses a finger into her. Pumping in time with the rocking of her hips and the way he’s toying with her clit. Feeling her clench around him when he adds a second and listening to the curse she shouts as he grazes her g-spot.

Jay feels it build. That euphoria of flying without a net, of diving off the cliff, building faster than it has with any partner before. Even Roy and Kori haven’t managed to get her off so fast. Then again, they never took the time to get her fully relaxed first.

With a shout and a curse Jay finishes, dissolving into laughter. A sign she can never fake when she truly falls off the peak. Hands tingling as her thighs close around Roman’s head. Victor’s fingers squeezing her nipple tightly.

She comes back to herself to words whispered in her ear. Comprehension taking longer.

“…so beautiful. You’re perfect for us Jay.” Victor’s lips graze the edge of her ear every time he speaks, sending thrills through her as both men haven’t stopped their movements on her body. “Our perfect, Pretty Bird.”

She blinks up at him. Dopey smile on her lips and love in her eyes. Brushing their noses together. Trying to ignore the heat burning up her cheeks.

“Want Rome to fuck you?” There is a deeper rumble to his voice now. She’d known he was the one in charge in their sex lives, taking over from Roman being the boss outside it and all the stress that brings. She’d just never heard him change how he spoke before. Their make out sessions never getting far enough.

Jay bobs her head, mouth too dry to talk and throat hoarse after screaming through her first orgasm. He smiles down at her and brushes a kiss over her lips and cheeks. Smiling wider as he feels the heat there.

Roman moves to lift one of her legs over his shoulder. Lining himself up until a hand on his hip stills him.

“Eager as always.” The blonde tuts at him and moves behind him. “You are going to fuck our girl…after you’ve opened yourself up for me and I’ve gotten to feel her around my cock. Sound good?” It’s asked but Roman knows it’s not a true question. Victor grabs his head and pulls it back so he can attack the slick coated mouth. Licking the taste of Jay out so he can share.

Tonight isn’t about them. It isn’t about Roman’s need to give up control. However, Victor knows he needs that. He needs to surrender control to enable him to truly devote his attention to Jay. As much as he’d wanted to focus just on their beautiful woman, he knew he had to do this for his man.

Roman slips out from between them and kneels beside Jay, lube pouring over his fingers. He braces on one arm and kisses Jay, sharing what little remains of her taste. He keeps an eye open for the wordless confirmation from their other partner before reaching between his cheeks as starting to finger himself open.

Victor throws Jay’s leg over his shoulder, a perfect mimicry of Roman’s position earlier. This time though she feels the blunt head of a cock pressing into her. Stretching her that final bit as she arches her back and breaks the kiss.

With her ass sat on his thighs Victor has his hands free to touch all that golden skin on show. Praising her whenever she starts to tense as his hand brushes over a scar. He knows it’s not just a physical insecurity for Jay, just as his combat injuries aren’t. So he takes it slow with his touches. Letting her slowly let down her walls and relax.

His hips keep a steady pace. Rocking in and out of her. Enjoying how her hole tightens rhythmically around him. Out the corner of his eye he can see that Roman his fucking himself back onto his fingers at the same speed he’s moving.

The display of Roman being so obviously good for him, despite the hard dripping cock hanging between his legs, Victor pulls out of Jay. Shushing her whimper as he makes room for Roman.

He grasps Roman’s cock and lines him up with Jay but doesn’t let him push in. Not until Roman has gotten him lined up too.

One smooth move has both men moving. The force of Victor pushing into Roman forcing him to push into Jay. All three groaning at the sensation.

From there picking up a rhythm is easy. Victor stays doing the work. Roman pliant in front of him as he bends down to kiss Jay. Showing off the expanse of his back for Victor to scratch down. Shuddering away from Jay as he attempts to bite and suck at her neck.

Skin slapping on skin. Wet noises. Moaning cries. Each filling the room to make their own music.

Victor reaches around Roman and begins thumbing at Jay’s clit. Cursing with a jump as she tightens around Roman which causes him to do the same to Victor.

Just as Jay is getting close Roman pulls back from attacking he neck to watch. Her eyes glazed over, mouth hanging open, that flush now reaching down her chest. Heaving for breath as she is inundated with pleasure.

It’s like a ripple effect when Jay hits her second orgasm. Body seeming to be milking Roman as she finishes with his cock buried insider her and her fear absent from her heart. Both men’s gaze trained on her as she allowed pleasure to consume her.

Roman followed straight after, Victor growling approval in his ear and fucking into him hard. He clenched around the other man and tipped him over the edge too.

All three of them were panting and sweaty. Bodies covered in too many fluids to be comfortable as they waited for the afterglow to fade enough to move. Jay was bundled in the middle. All three pairs of arms and legs tangled together. Stupid grins on their faces and eyes fluttering shut.

Jay ignored the self-doubt inside her as she crawled into their bed after her shower. Ignored how her brain was screaming that they’d be gone when she woke up. Tried to focus on the weight as her back as she threw an arm and a leg over Roman, pulling him in close and enjoying their skin-to-skin.

The smell of coffee and bacon filtered into the bedroom the following morning. Waking Jay up with a grumbling stomach and panic in her heat. Until, that is, she felt a hand run down her side, gripping her hip and pulling her closer.

She knew that hand. Had been held by it many times by now, recently more frequently without gloves. A small sigh leaving her as she settled back into his side. Her back was cooler than when she’d fallen asleep but she didn’t have long to wonder why. Her brain not yet awake enough to connect the smells in the air with the cold at her back.

“Rest my darling. Vic will be in with breakfast shortly.” Roman pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ve got you, we both do.”

With one last shuddering sigh, Jay closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift away. The embrace feeling safe enough to keep her guard down. The knowledge her men would never hurt her blowing any doubts she had out the water.


End file.
